Get More Out of Your PACS Vendor with Guilt Trips

Ms. PACS: Guilt trips aren’t usually meant to hurt people but simply to get them to behave in a certain way. Let’s face it - it’s a way to manipulate someone. So, if it can work in your favor, then why not learn how to apply guilt trips, in three easy steps. (See Guilt Trips in 3 Easy Steps below)

But before you feel guilty, let me ask you this – have you ever walked into a store, and the clerk comes up to you eagerly waiting on you, unsolicited, and tries to help you make a selection. You ask yourself: Did I ask for help? Your shoulders clinch, and, for those more primal fellas, the hair on the back of your neck stands up. It’s as if someone scratched the nails on a chalkboard right in your ear. You grit your teeth in an effort to hold back from shouting in the clerk’s face: “I’m just looking – so back off!” Fortunately, before that happens, a whole subconscious dialogue transpires in a millisecond. The clerk acknowledges you’re completely irritated and grins back with a feeble smile. The very act of shrinking into a submissive pose is how the clerk plays a guilt trip on you – “Please don’t bark at me, I’m just a humble clerk trying to do my job.” Whether you like it or not, the shout softens into a whisper, and you respond: “Oh, I was just looking,” and tag on a thank you for good measure, “but thank you for your help.” So this clerk has tricked you into thanking him for pestering you. Basically, you have allowed this person to manipulate you – they provoked your sympathy by laying a guilt trip on you.

If you search guilt trips, you come across a reasonable explanation on ehow.com as to why we lay guilt trips. One big reason is manipulation. You play on someone’s sympathy to get them to do what you want. Another big reason is payback – you’re sick of someone laying a guilt trip on you, and want them to feel the same way.

Guilt trips can be very effective – take for example the “Daddy’s little girl” guilt trip. You know your beautiful smile pulls on his heartstrings. And you walk off with the car keys and the credit card. But does it work in the PACS world? Can you guilt a PACS vendor to give you added features for free, or not charge you for a service call, or to lower his asking price on a new PACS? You better know how to bat those baby blues, because if there’s not something in it for the PACS vendor, like more money, then you’ll have to know how to lay it on thick.

Assuming it’s a guy, with an ego (a novel idea) - start by getting inside his head. Does he feel important when people see him as a “good guy”? Does he take pride in being “fair” to customers? Could acquiescing to your demands be acceptable for him because it means building a long-term business relationship with you? If so, then you may have a chance.

How can you get more than the vendor bargained for? Start by breaking him down, but without nailing him to the wall. Tell him that on a few occasions the response to service was slow and/or inadequate, costing you in downtime. Dollars lost as a result of poor service is justifiable, if you can justify it - which may require proof.

Guilt Trips in 3 Easy Steps (if the first works, stop there):

Step 1
Hold your hands together and wring them lightly. Look very sad, as though you’re a bit hurt that he refuses to give you extra PACS licenses for free. Use the “you don’t care about me as a person” trip. “Haven’t we worked together for a few months now?” Add to that: “I thought we had established a working relationship?” Be as bold as to say: “Am I just another client to you?”

Step 2
Play the helpless victim. Tell him how much you are struggling financially these days –both business-wise and personally. The DRA hit you hard, and you don’t know how long you can stay in business. At this point, pull out your iPhone, mobile device, whatever, and glance at the photos of your family or significant other. Chuckle and show him pictures of your kids or your dog, so he identifies with you and internalizes your problem.

Step 3
Act indignant. This is the "Look at all the business I’ve given you” ploy. The best way to lay this guilt trip is by being indignant, such as "Don't worry, I’m not a charity-case,” even though you are in this scenario. This type of guilt trip works well for big and little jobs alike.

So give it a try…and let me know how it works.

PACSman: Guilt trips work for a lot of people. Unfortunately they don't on my kids ("Can you just do this one little thing I'm asking you?" "No."), they didn't in my dating past ("But we have so much history together." "And that's what it is now…history."), and they don't even on my dog ("Why did you pee on my leather couch again? I thought you liked it here." "I do, but the patio door was locked and I had to pee, so get over it..." )

I was raised in an Italian Roman Catholic household and made an honorary Jew by my good friend the Dalai, so I probably have enough guilt to last several lifetimes. I don't need any more. Because I'm older I also have less things to feel guilty about. I still screw up more often than I care to admit and feel guilty when I do even, if it's an inadvertent screw up, but on the whole I do OK. I haven’t been to confession in ages and can just see me going now. "Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been way too long since my last confession - age 12 maybe- so let's do this the easy way. This is what I haven't done." And two minutes later I walk out a "free man" - after I say 124,179 Our Fathers, 36,825 Hail Marys, 11,527 Glory Be's that is. The Stations of the Cross will have to wait for another lifetime…Momma always said ain't no such thing as a free lunch…and apparently free sin falls into the category as well. Considering my past (thankfully I can’t remember most of my 20’s), I think I got off the hook pretty easily.

So let's talk about guilt, manipulation and payback...The salesperson example Ms. PACS gave has to be a female thing because most of the men I know don't go shopping just to look, unless it’s with a woman, and then it’s because they we’re guilted into it. They go shopping to shop.

Two weeks ago I went to Jacques Pennays to replace my “intimate apparel.” After five years they were finally stretched out just right and fit perfectly, but alas they had holes in strategic areas that could have been hazardous to my overall health and well being, so out they went...old friends tossed to the curb that served me so well. Still, I was in and out of the store in <10 minutes. Four of that was walking from the entrance to the men’s department (and back again), three minutes spent looking for extra-fat sized products, and the remaining three checking out and using my $10 off a $25 purchase coupon. After all, why pay $5 for a pair of britches when I can get ‘em for <$3 each, even if they do last 5 years...A buck is a buck. Did I feel guilty? Nope. And no, Ms. PACS, saving a buck on undies it’s not a guy thing either. You know you secretly raid your neighbors’ mailboxes when Vickies has their “free pair of panties” coupon specials too so…..

You really don't need guilt to buy a PACS these days - only a pulse...It’s worse than buying a car. True, you can find "Buy here, Pay here" car dealerships where you’ll pay as much for a 1998 Chevy Malibu with142,000 miles on it as you would a 2008 Mercedes SLK 250, if your FICO score wasn’t 425, but at least you got a car. So too it is with PACS.

When I went to buy my car last October. They got up and locked the doors on me as my son’s eyes got wide saying only, “We’re in trouble, Dad.” Trouble indeed - the dealership that usually sold 60 cars a month had sold 4 so far and here I was with a credit score in the very high 700’s. “We’re sorry sir, but you are not leaving until you purchase something.” Now, I loved the $35 and $40K wonders I saw, but being Mr. Pragmatic I ended up walking away with a 2003 Mitsubishi Diamante with 70K miles on it for just over $8K. But I did buy something so all was not lost.

PACS dealers are trying to do the same thing. You want a PACS? We’ll find a way to get you a PACS, even if you have a 425 FICO score. How often have you seen “Preferred customer discount” on the bottom line or something of a similar ilk. That’s subliminal guilt…even if you were a first time buyer for them. You weren’t necessarily a preferred customer but rather they preferred to have you as a customer, hence the discounts…With roughly 50% fewer deals currently being completed that last year and more competition for those deals, everyone is a preferred customer. You don’t need to try and get in the head because all they really want is to get into your wallet (and don’t make any analogies either here Ms P. It goes both ways….)

Good guys? Fair? Long-term relationships? That requires give and take on both parties and that just isn’t happening. Good guys usually finish last because most women tend to gravitate to bad guys so they can complain about how badly they get treated by men…In the meantime the good guy looks on and says “Huh?”. Just the way it is….And everyone knows good girls go to heaven but bad girls go everywhere…So much for that argument.

Fair? To whom? If you read most PACS contracts they are anything but fair and that is all that matters in a court of law. I’d dealing with a client of mine now whose system hasn’t worked right in the 10 months since he’s had it “installed” and today is dropping yet more studies. Oops. The vendor’s answer is they will de-install it and give him his money back but they never comes back with any concrete details…and limits their liability to what was paid, if that…That’s like dealing with the manufacturer of Trojan condoms- sorry it didn’t work for ya and busted and now you have a kid to raise…but we hope the $0.42 we’re giving you back for the one that got away helps offset some of your costs…

I love the three steps Ms. PACS outlined. Step one - the answers are all yes. Step two - You’ll most likely end up giving them money as they lay it on thick about them being the helpless victim too. Step three - Indignant - feeling, characterized by, or expressing strong displeasure at something considered unjust, offensive, insulting, or base: Synonyms: angry, resentful, infuriated, mad. Doesn’t work…take it from someone who has spent a large part of his life writing about PACS with indignancy.

Daddy’s little girl? Good luck with that…I have much more patience when they are growing up and formidable than when they are grown up and manipulative…but I guess if it works, then that is what matters most….