And When I'm Gone….

PACSman: Like many of us in the industry I was shocked to hear of the death of Sectra North America President John Goble. I both knew John and liked John and anyone who met John couldn’t help but like him. He has this thing about him that was just…well…..likeable.

Years ago, when Philips decided to go with Stentor as their PACS solution ending a decade-long relationship with Sectra, I asked John what he thought about it all and how it would impact the company. In typical Goble fashion, instead of cursing the darkness, John lit a candle. He said it was probably a good thing that it happened finally allowing the company to come out the shadow of Philips and stand on its own merits. I was astounded that a guy who probably just lost 80% of his company’s U.S. revenue could be so upbeat and positive. In my own politically correct fashion I asked if it upset him being dumped for a younger woman. He just smiled and again with that typical Goble response said, “We had a lot of good years together and a lot of good times. They are doing what is right for them, and we will do what is right for us and our customers. We will stand behind the Sectra customers who have our products installed and continue to move ahead on our own as a stronger, more unified company.”

He never had a bad word to say about Philips, even off the record, because these were his friends and just you don’t trash friends. That is the essence of John- straight ahead, honest to a fault, open, dedicated, and focused. In a market of full of schmucks, John was the anti-schmuck. That is probably not the legacy he envisioned for himself- to be labeled the anti-schmuck- but he’d probably just laugh about it knowing how I meant it in all sincerity.

The past few years the PACS industry has lost a lot of good people. Sam Dwyer, Phil Berman, John, and others all made their mark not just on the industry but on me personally.

I can recall a conversation many many years ago that I had with Sam Dwyer, sitting on the back screened porch of my rental house in Maitland where he elected to stay for a few days while he was in town. Now Sam could have stayed at the Ritz since a company was picking up his tab but elected to stay in the guest room at my house so he could help me set up my fledgling PACS consulting business. As we sat on the porch I shared with him my fears about the future and what it would bring. His answer was very simple and very basic- “Do what you love, Mike, have a good woman by your side like I have with Marylou, and when you have kids, be there for them”. I heard his stories of starting out in years past with so little money that it was frightening but his formula- love your work, love your woman, love your kids- worked. I loved my work- still do to this day- and love my kids- always have, always will- but I guess I need to put a little more effort into the woman thing.
Phil had the same simple formula for living as well. Love your work, love your family. He would always talk about his family with whatever new project he had cooking on the back burner, right up until the time he ran out of toes to paint. Another great guy gone way too soon.

John was cut from the same genre. I didn’t get to spend as much time with John as I wanted to- I’d see him at trade shows, he’d stuff my bag full of chocolate, and we’d talk on the phone and have dinner now and then- but I did get close enough to him to hear his war stories so that was closer than many. Love your work, love your family, and make time for yourself was his mantra. All day yesterday the old Laura Nero/Blood Sweat and Tears Song “And When I Die” ran though my head:

“I'm not scared of dying,
And I don't really care.
If it's peace you find in dying,
Well then let the time be near”

John died doing what he loved best, flying helicopters. While it was a terrible and tragic way to go how many of us can say the same- that we died doing what we love best? “

“Give me my freedom for as long as I be.
All I ask of living is to have no chains on me.
All I ask of living is to have no chains on me,”

That got me to thinking - when it’s my time how do I want to go? Now I know we don’t get a choice in it and that it’s all predestined and such (or so the guys in my men’s group at church keep telling me) but if I had my druthers I’d either be at a garage sale having just scored a killer bargain, taking pictures of my youngest son’s high school marching band or my oldest son’s BPA involvement, or watching the guys I’m worked with for 10 years enjoying the fun and fellowship that comes from playing a game of soccer. The very last way I ever want to go is behind my computer typing a report that will be read once- if that- and then discarded. Also know before God gives me the thumbs up or thumbs down, He and I are going to sit down over a pitcher of beer and some wings and talk about a lot of things. I won’t question Him or His infinite wisdom- after all He is God- but I just need to know a few whys and wherefores about my life and others for my self-edification, that’s all. This has the guys in my church praying for me harder still - the arms lifted high, “Praise Jesus!!” variety - and me instead asking, “Yo, God, can we talk?” But God knows it’s coming, and I’m sure he has the answers ready to the questions I’ll be asking, and most of all He’ll be cool with it too. My God is a loving, caring God and I’d be willing to bet He’d even pick up the tab for the beer and wings if they have tabs in Heaven. Heck, He might even meet me outside the Pearly Gates as well, since as it stands now, I can go in either direction and why waste time, right?

I have had so many opportunities to get a “real” job the past few decades- ones that would pay me three to five times what I make now - and each time I came close to saying “Yes” I ended up saying “No.” The sacrifices I would have to make by leaving my kids far exceeded any financial “benefits” I would have reaped. Do I regret it? The money would have been very nice as would the chance to be a part of a team, but I’ve found I get frustrated when people don’t share the same vision and enthusiasm I have in achieving a goal and learned that money doesn’t mean anything so I’d have to say No I don’t. I also have something that few can say in our industry- I was there for my kids. Almost every event that my kids were involved in, big and small, I was there for. I’d be willing to bet Sam, Phil, and John could pretty much say the same. If my kids had something going then they were my prior commitment. That is something I couldn’t do that with a “real” job.

I’m going through a hard time in my life now because suddenly my babies aren’t babies any more. My youngest son Matt at 16 scrimped and saved and now has his own car and can take himself where he needs to go without me taking him. For all the bitching and bellyaching I did about playing Hoke in Driving Miss Daisy, I miss schlepping him all over creation. I also realize what my mom used to say about the hen never sleeping until all the chickens are back in the roost when he is out. Thankfully he can’t drive after 11 pm until he turns 17, so I got the tour of duty for 1 a.m. pickups for him and his friends at Halloween Horror Nights a few weeks back. As tired as I was, it was heaven getting them even if they all fell asleep before we were even out of the parking garage.

My oldest son Nick just turned 18, and now he is officially an adult and will be going to college next year. Thankfully he is leaning towards our local community college, which means he’ll be living with either me or my ex until he hits age 27 or graduates, whichever comes first. He’ll also be getting his car soon enough and then will be in 15 different directions as well. He is my brilliant computer genius with half a dozen certifications already and is a Web site design guru as well, but I just wish he would fix my computer when I mess it up without making me feel like the idiot I really am.

I should be celebrating my new found freedom with the kids being on their own finally but instead have a very bad case of empty nest syndrome. I thought that only affected women….Maybe its time to consider a real job again but at least Elvis the Wonder dog still needs me to clean up when he gets an attitude and pees on my couch leg or the carpet so all is not lost. And someday, somewhere, I’ll meet the woman of my dreams (probably at a garage sale) and give love a chance again - or at least some heavy duty lust. Ms. PACS - where are you when I need you most!!

And when I die, and when I'm gone,
There'll be one child born
In this world to carry on,
to carry on.

I have two children that I love dearly to carry on and I hope they leave me a legacy that I’ll be proud of. And John Goble - in addition to his family and many many friends he has - also has an entire company called Sectra North America that he considered his “children” to carry on….. and carry on they will…