PACSman: Two weekends ago eHarmony® ran a weekend special where you can communicate free with the love of your life that you didn’t know was out there waiting just for you. Now I haven’t been on eHarmony for at least 3 years ever since it started hooking me up with nothing but die-hard Christians - and that was after taking their 400+ question profile twice - and frankly I am fairly content with my “life” as it is. I have some great people in my life yet just couldn’t resist answering one person’s questions on a Sunday afternoon though that turned out to be a race against the clock before I had to actually pay to chat. She was a doctor and I a lowly PACS consultant and besides, it was free so…..
The questions and answers flew back and forth in rapid succession over the course of two hours and all seemed well. While I must have scored A’s and B’s in the first and second set of questions as well as my “must have/can’t stands,” my last set of questions just before the open communication session I must have scored an F on it because I never heard back from her after that. Bummer. Or not. There were three questions I received and I think I blew them all.
Question #1 was: I am very impressed that you have your own company. This shows me that you are very ambitious and responsible. Tell me about your background, and how you came to have this expertise. I’ve gone to your website - WOW. Have your e-mail.
My answer: I wouldn't go that far- maybe it's just that no one would hire me for the past 26+ years. LOL. The website also needs to be updated...Bottom line for me is money doesn't mean as much as having fun, which is what I do - plus working from home in gym shorts and a tee is a bonus.
Maybe she’s just jealous that I work from home in my gym shorts and a tee…or wants someone who regales in his accomplishments and achievements instead of using self- deprecating humor like I do because I really don’t feel like I am better than anyone else…but for anyone who knows me knows, this is who I am so…M.D. to me doesn’t mean most divine either…I know way too many docs to know that. And the comment of being gainfully unemployed? I’ve never missed a house payment yet…and have plenty of money to go garage saling with as well, so life is very good indeed…
By question two I knew I was in serious trouble:
Question #2: During a typical week, what sort of physical activities do you enjoy?
My answer: I wish I could say more. Does walking the dog count?..... In a few I’m going to mow my own lawn - it’s not a money issue but a pride one - I need something that provides me with instant gratification…
Wrong answer again I’m sure. While I talked about how I used to play racquetball until my buddy Steve got hurt last week and now we do bike riding, etc., I probably should have told her that I used to exercise a lot more until I blew my right knee out white water rafting three years ago (I did)…...and how I run a sports ministry overseeing 80-100 guys and gals playing soccer every week among other events….and…and…and….The truth though is while I enjoy biking and racquetball my most consistent exercise is walking the dog and shampooing the carpet after he blesses it with his holy water…Maybe she was looking for a marathon man instead. The closest I come to being a Marathon Man is that 30+ year old film where Dustin Hoffman plays a graduate history student unwittingly caught in the middle of an international conspiracy involving stolen diamonds, an exiled Nazi war criminal, and a rogue government agent. Yeah, that’s my life….NOT! Worse than anything, though, is not only do I mow my own lawn but – gasp!!- no hablo español either!! Despite all that, that probably wasn’t it either. No doubt it was my “instant gratification” (IG) comment that did me in….but to me mowing your own lawn beats many of the other IG options too (laugh).
On to Question #3: Tonight you can do anything you want, no penalties, no reprisals, and the cost is unimportant. What are you going to do?
My answer: Fix my leaking garbage disposal (laugh) …
OK, so maybe that isn’t what she wants to hear, but I was thinking maybe it was a trick question too. The reality is just when I was about to answer something completely different my son Matt came to me and asked, “Dad what’s that brown stuff coming out from underneath the sink onto the floor?” Come to find out my garbage disposal chose just then to give up the ghost and…well…..you get the picture…I think the saying goes “When you are up to you’re a$ in alligators its hard to remember your initial objective was to drain the swamp.”
As a consultant I also learn to ask a lot of questions so my next comments in my reply were: “Would I be alone or with someone? If so, would I be with someone new? Someone I’ve dated for a short time (month or so?)? Longer time? Are we casual friends or in an exclusive relationship? Is it raining out or sunny? What are our moods, desires? What has to be done, what doesn't before I could enjoy the day? (there is that responsibility thing again). Do I have work tomorrow? Those can all be answered in about 2 minutes, but everything needs to be looked at so our minds can be where they need to be and not somewhere else…Too many questions I’m sure for someone who no doubt is a runner and probably takes the Nike approach - Just Do It!! - versus being methodical, although I thought a doc might have appreciated my methodical approach…Oh well…
I would love to have said: “I’d hop on a flight and visit my relatives in Sicily!” (Rosario, oh Rosario…Wherefore art thou Rosario!!), or “Take my 1930’s wooden speedboat (that I don’t own, but would love to someday) to the middle of Lake Dora with some candles, wine and cheese and enjoy a quiet moonlit night,” or “Dinner, dancing and decadent delicacies over an entire evening,” but hey….that’s not gonna happen anytime soon either, with her or anyone else (besides there are a few others in line ahead of you anyway who won’t allow cutsies
“No penalties, no reprisals and cost is unimportant?” That’s gonna take some serious thought….I have two kids going to college in another year, so cost is always a consideration from the $5.34 Hungry Howie’s pizza my son and I just split for lunch on down….Besides, everything in life has penalties and reprisals attached to them…and anyone who doesn’t believe that I probably wouldn’t want to date, let alone marry…But it’s a nice thought…One day I might even think this through more and answer it properly…. although I doubt I’ll get it right then either.
So 1,200+ words later what does this all have to do with PACS? Too many customers and too many vendors have both given the wrong answers lately.
I have one client who is using both himself (a radiologist) and his business manager as their site’s PACS Systems Administrator (PSA) because in his words: “We don’t need and can’t afford a dedicated PSA.” Wrong answer. True a PSA does cost money, but when you add up the time they spend doing PSA duties plus - and this is the most important part - the ticked off customers he had because things a PSA could have done to prevent some of the issues they had weren’t being done - it actually cost them MORE money…
Here is the reality - EVERY PACS and EVERY clinical IT system implemented has issues with it every single day. That’s why every PACS needs a systems administrator to deal with these. The PSA can be someone who is already in your IT department or someone you hire from the outside, but it needs to be someone. These are not optional areas - these are MANDATORY!! The vendor should also REQUIRE you to have a PSA before they sell you the system - not an option, but a requirement. Vendors, listen up. Have a PSA or no sale…
The second set of wrong answers came from a vendor who had one of my clients’ RIS and PACS systems down for almost six hours before anyone bothered to do something to bring it back to life and over eight hours total…on a Friday…It was Abbott and Costello’s “Who’s on First” routine all over again except my client lost over $15K worth of business that walked up the street during this process. He also ended up working well past midnight on a Friday clearing up 8 hours of backlog…. all the while his wife and three-week old baby waited on him to get home… The problems still exist three days later, only now different ones in different forms…And the vendors respond? “Aside from all this I hope your weekend was a good one.” I think I've heard this put another way before - "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?" They need to do a whole lot more than say, “Aside from all that…” and put together a serious plan of action on how to prevent it from happening again, then make damn sure the penalties surrounding circumstances are sufficient if it does happen again.
That’s like my then wife and I finding out she was with child again with a 9-month old at home. After a brief discussion we went with a very permanent plan of action, a plan that involved sitting on a bag of peas for a day and all was good…and if we did have another, we would name him after the urologist since he would be raising him, not I.
So did I lose out on eHarmony? Did she? Who knows? I want someone who doesn’t like to date or at the very most has the intention of her next date possibly being her last. Unfortunately, my potential match is someone who has “been out with several men, and has enjoyed this process...” and “…find(s) the prospect of getting to know someone thrilling.” I don’t know if I find it thrilling or not - occasionally it can be exciting, but most times the thrill becomes a nightmare that I’ll moonwalk away. You just can’t be who you are - or answer straight from the heart either. Like her I miss female companionship in many ways, but am not quite ready to take a ticket from the deli waiting my turn to order either….
I’m not sure if I have as strong a personality as she does, but do find women with that quality very exciting - as long as it’s not overpowering. Finding out I’m on a date with Dominatrix Debbie is something I’m really not into... I also am not ready for any kind of marriage relationship either – I’m looking more to spend time together, just enjoying the relationship without the pressure of "is this forever?"
Maybe I’d do better if I if found a gal with as dry - or wry- a sense of humor as I have. After all, even if you are a born again, you should be able to appreciate that I’m not totally serious when I say: “The only time I want to hear ‘Oh God!” or ‘Oh Jesus!’ is in the throes of passion,” and not be appalled. I mean if you can’t laugh at yourself, who or what can you?
Money is not a problem here either, except when I don’t have it, and I, too, just love a good deal. Thank you Dr. Warren and your eHarmony cronies for making me an offer I couldn’t refuse.
I almost never look back - maybe briefly, as a matter of learning from mistakes - but as she shared with me you just can’t haunt yourself with too much of the hand-wringing. Move on. And so I shall. After all, she has my e-mail, and the answers that I gave weren’t right or wrong but instead just me…
Ms. PACS: How am I supposed to react to this PACSman...you are actively e-dating behind my back?! I'm crushed!
Or possibly – relieved.
Yes, relieved to know that you’re finally catching on. If you want to come up with the right answer, you need to ask the right question. Whether it’s about knowing how to answer and get the attention of potential mates on eHarmony – discerning what he or she looking for? Or do you really care because it’s all about you anyway? Or whehter it's asking your PACS vendor the right questions – "Once I buy this thing, what’s it's going to cost to service it?" Or if it’s a frustrated PSA, wondering why the system continues to crash...over and over again….it’s all about asking the right questions, so that you can come up with the right answers.
But chose your words wisely when eHarmonizing. There are so many lyrics about choosing the right words. Just think of The Cure’s “Pictures of You” (You know it. The song enjoyed a revival from it’s 80’s roots in a late-90's camera commercial). Robert Smith’s voice is not only agnozingly somber…hold back the tears PACSman…but he makes you think. Because we have all probably lived these lyrics at some point in our lives:
“If only I’d thought of the right words
I could have hold onto your heart
If only I thought of the right words
I wouldn’t be breaking apart, all my pictures of you.”
The more philosophical PSAs occasionally come up with a few deep-thoughts of their own like:
1. As techonology gets better, does anyone think it could become a risk to keep data?
2. If something is missed using today's technology, but discovered years later, what are the risks?
3. What are typical refresh times for DMWL? Are there ways to tweak it?
4. If I shout in the woods, will anyone hear it? Just wondering.
So maybe a good answer to Question #3: Tonight you can do anything you want, no penalties, no reprisals, and the cost is unimportant. What are you going to do?
Should have been a question/response to your potential date, like:
What am I going to do? Whatever the doctor orders.
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